What is a Friend?

           1. Civillian friends get upset if your too busy to talk to them for a week

            MILITARY FRIENDS: Are glad to see you after many years; and will happily carry on the same conversation you were  having the last time you saw each other

             2.  CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Never ask for food

                  MILITARY FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food

             3.  CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr and Mrs

                  MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents Mum and Dad

                4.   CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and then tell you   what  you did was wrong.

                MILITARY FRIENDS: Would be sitting next too you saying,
'Mate...we stuffed up ....but what a giggle?

               5. CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry

                MILITARY FRIENDS: Cry with you

              6.  CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it  back

               MILITARY FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it is yours

              7. CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you

               MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with a shed full of direct quotes from you

              8.    CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing…………

         MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the backsides of whole crowds that left you behind

           9.    CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door

                  MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, 'I'm home, got any beer!
          10.   CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Share a few experiences.

                 MILITARY FRIENDS: Share a lifetime of experiences no civilian could ever dream of.

         11.   CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,' You had better drink the rest of that, don’t waste any. Then they carry you home and put you safely to bed.

        12.    CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk crap to the person who talks crap about you.

      MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock the crap out of people who use your name in vain

       13.     CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know where you buried the body

      MILITARY FRIENDS: Helped you bury the body

       14.     CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will call you 'mate' as a term of endearment

      MILITARY FRIENDS: Will call you Wanker'  or 'Tosser' as a term of endearment

       15.   CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are for a while.

                MILITARY FRIENDS: Are for life.
     16.      CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this

                MILITARY FRIENDS: Will forward this to their military mates

 

 Thanks to 'Winnie' Churchill for that one....

 

SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW

 

                'WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH   1,000 AL-QAIDA TERRORISTS

                THAN WITH ONE SINGLE BRITISH SOLDIER! 

                This sign  was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Campbeltown Scotland

                and you are probably outraged at the thought  of such an inflammatory statement,,

 

                However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty.         

                And after all, it is only a sign.

                                 You may ask

  "what kind of business would dare post such a sign  ?"

               

 

 

 

                      Answer: A Funeral Home

 

 

       (Who said morticians had no sense of humour!!)

                                You gotta love it

                              God Bless Scotland